TRASH
During spring-cleaning, I started sorting out everything I have in the cupboards into piles of different categories--Buddhist books, general books, childhood books, cards and letters from friends, lots of unclassifiable knick-knacks... and of course, trash. The trash pile was interesting because it piled up the highest. Like I said, the trash "was" interesting--in it were miscellaneous articles of past interests. I was very clear of what all each item meant to me. I couldn't bear to throw it away. But that now seems to be just a whole bunch of near "random" attachments.
I felt a strange sense of release as the trash piled up. I have somewhat "come of age", grown out of my past, much out of my "junior" attachments--a kind of material renunciation. I felt a sense of horror when I realised I was somewhat "throwing out" parts of my life, parts that were deemed to be of utmost importance are now pure trash. Does this means I had wasted much of my life focusing ön the wrong things? There was a dreadful, heart-wrenching feeling.
Then the answer came to be "No". All these played a part in my growth and led me to my present state. It was all a process, part and parcel. There was a reasön for every wrong turn I took in life, namely my ignorance. But it was the knowledge of my igñorance that led me here to be seeking Wisdom. I felt some relief.
The story doesn't end here. Before I cleared the trash, I told myself to be mindful of my present attachments--both material and mental. I wouldn't want to sort out a pile of trash again in a few years' time!
TDE, p. 81